The essence of not caring what others think of you
Fear of criticism, fear of not being liked, or no longer being loved, or no longer belonging, or losing people …
These fears have one thing in common:
You think that you will lose something if others don’t like what you do or who you are.
You fear that others will judge you and you’ll get hurt as a result.
To prevent that, you censor yourself-if only a little.
You change your behavior. You dim your light. You try to please others or prevent to offend them, so you’ll be liked as much as possible. You try to be who others want you to be so you won’t get hurt.
The problem with this strategy is that it doesn’t work.
You still get hurt.
Because you’re not showing up as your true self. You shrink yourself and mince your words.
You’re not who you REALLY are and you’re not doing what you TRULY want.
You’re not sharing your message, you’re not reaching ‘your’ people, and despite ALL your efforts, there are STILL people who don’t like / understand / accept / see / love you!
If you continue to think that it’s OTHER PEOPLE who make you feel unloved, unliked, unaccepted or unseen, you continue to feel hurt.
Because the problem is NOT what others think of you.
The problem is what YOU think of you.
Do you worry if someone thinks you’re crazy? Check where YOU think you’re crazy.
Do you worry if someone will still like you when you say X? Check if YOU will still like yourself when you say X.
Do you want to be seen, understood, loved, liked, and accepted by others?
See, understand, love, like and accept YOURSELF first-completely, deeply, and wholeheartedly.
The essence of not caring what others will think of you or your work is to see, embrace, and accept ALL of yourself first. THAT’S when you feel that you’re good enough and you feel like you belong. THAT’S when you find inner peace. THAT’S when you stop caring about what others think.
Not because you don’t care about others.
But because you finally, deeply, care about YOURSELF.
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Originally published at https://brigittevantuijl.com on April 25, 2022.